I have to actually think a lot about this before I write anything down. My close friends tell me I’m unique, & there really isn’t many people like me. I never seem to fully understand what they mean when they say that, but I guess I’ll list some things I think make me different from other people.
For starters, I care way too much about everything & everyone. I can tell you “I don’t care, whatever”, but that’s the biggest lie you could ever hear come out of my mouth. I use it as a cover-up, when I don’t want people to think I’m weak, or when I don’t want them to see that I actually do care about the situation taking place in front of me. I over-analyze things, and I get into this big cycle where I overly-care, and get all worked up over something I shouldn’t even being getting worked up over. I’ve been dealing with this better lately, but I really do care about everything and everyone.. and that’s most likely why I get hurt so easily, and so frequently.
Secondly, I’ve really learned not to care what people think. I mean, obviously I care to some extent - I don’t want people thinking I’m someone completely different than I really am. That’s why I enjoy being so honest, and so open about everything. Maybe I do trust people way too easily, but I usually confide in the right people and have a good judgment of character. I’m happy about the fact that I’ve made it public that I’m ‘bi-curious.’ I’m not ashamed of it, not at all. And I don’t regret having it known on something as basic as formspring. I believe that if you’re going to know me, and become friends with me, you should know what I’m like before you decide if you really want to get to know me or not. I’m also happy about the fact I’m so open about things, sexually. Me being so open, makes people feel really comfortable around me, and make them feel like they are able to talk to me about anything and everything, without being judged. I can talk to someone for an hour or two, just on facebook. And find out things that only their best friends would know about. That’s how easy-going, and open I am. That leads to my next.. subject, point, whatever you want to call it.
I am the least judgmental person out there. Sure, if you give me a reason to, I’ll call you a slut, or something along those lines, but I usually don’t just say those things unless I get to know you, and find out for myself. I just believe that everyone is a little fucked up & weird, and you have to expect it. I mean, who are you to judge someone on things they do, if they have a reason, and if you might have done something just as, or even more weird? I’ve seriously heard it all, I really really have. I could tell you so many personal things I’ve heard, from so many different people. You’d be surprised to hear some of the things people tell me, and have to experience on a daily basis. It breaks my heart, it really does. But I never will stop being there for them. Oh, that’s another thing.. when I give you my word, when I physically say to you “I will always be there for you” or something along those lines, you better believe it. That is one promise I would never break. Once you’re important to me, even for the smallest amount of time, you’re important to me forever. I have best friends who I’ve lost and don’t talk to anymore, yet if they needed me at 4 in the morning, I would walk there and be there for them in a second.
That’s the last thing I feel makes me unique. I am seriously one of the most sweet, loving, caring, compassionate, & good-hearted people you will ever come across in your life. I know people probably say that a lot, but I honestly mean it. I’m one of the few people left in the world who actually cares about other peoples feelings, about common courtesy and being polite, etc. I can melt your heart with the things I say, and the best part of that is that everything I say, seriously comes from the heart. If I don’t mean it, I won’t say it to you. I’m way too nice to people, although I’m starting to learn how to stand my ground and not put up with peoples bullshit if they try and walk over me. I can be a bitch and hurt you with my words if you hurt me, or anger me to that point. But, I mean, cmon.. who isn’t a bitch here & there, who doesn’t have moments where they want to punch everyone in the face? I always put everyone elses problems and happiness before myself, & I’ll make sure you’re okay and be there for you, before I make sure I’m okay and fix myself, if needed. My friends tell me I’m too nice, and that I need to learn to be a bitch. I really do take pride in being really nice to people, and feeling like.. indescribable when I make someone smile or feel better. That’s seriously all I want to do with my life, is just help people on a daily basis. That makes me happy.